Okay, again, I have to reiterate (with all formatting tools available to me) THIS PLACE IS THE WEIRDEST PLACE IN THE WORLD.

Okay, last night, I get home. I put away my groceries, unpack, tidy up, etc. Now, a bit of background. I have 2 entrances to my house. Both of these entrances have 2 doors. The first door, in both entrances leads to porches (a sun porch in the front, a mud room in the back). I usually don't worry too much about locking the "outside" doors, as they would only lead to a porch, where there are no valuables, unless you count bottled water and clothespins. I am always sure, however, to lock the "inside" doors, the doors that lead inside to my actual house.

So, after I arrive home last night, I notice that on the "inside" door, leading to the front sun room, there are strange markings on the window pane that is in the middle of the door. In white wax pencil are about 7 cirlces with "R1, R2, R3, etc" up to R7, in various places on the glass. It looked to me like they were circling fingerprints, or smudges. I thought "well, that's odd". I had 2 theories.

1) Delbert (my landlord, real name) came by and was maybe going to replace the glass in the door, as was marking pressure points or something (I'm not a carpenter, okay?)

2) Delbert, or someone, came into the porch, saw the smudgy window pane and was appaled that I was such a bad housekeeper, so they decided to mark out all the spots I missed.

What I found odd, though, was that Delbert didn't call to let me know he'd be by, nor did he leave a note, or leave a message on my phone. So, thinking it wasn't a big deal, I just left it at that, and figured I'd be talking to him this weekend anyway to get him his rent money.

So, I get into work this morning, and my boss-

Okay, background information time again. Delbert is my boss's uncle in law. And, I live nextdoor to my boss's parent in laws. Meaning that Delbert is my boss's husband's uncle, and my boss's husband's parents are my next door neighbours.

Savy?

Okay. All that to say, that that family is a little on the crazy, anal, tightly-wound side. It's nothing for me to look out my window and see a pair of 70 year old eyes looking back at me. And Delbert is just, well.. a recovering alcoholic and probably has OCD.

Anyway. Apparently, because my house is so close to the road, the outside door (which faces the road) must have come open. Delbert noticed this, and figured that I must have been broken into. Well, this is a bit of a rash assumption, but nonetheless, if you think that's what happened, what would a rational person do? A rational person would probably stop by the house, walk through the door and see if the house was in disarray, or if anything was taken (as mentioned before, the glass leading into the house is clear glass, so it would be easy to see most my house from the porch). If nothing was taken, no harm done, lock the door behind you before you leave.

What does Delbert do?

Delbert calls my boss in a panic, screeching that my house has been broken in. When suggested to go in the house, he refuses. He demands my home number, the name of my father, etc, instead of just going to check. My boss says that they (herself and her husband) would go and check but he said if they tried, he would refused them access to the house!! Her husband tries anyway, but Delbert shows up anyway, again, refusing him into the porch to just take a look, and save everyone all the worry.

So, what does Delbert do?

He calls the RCMP to investigate the scene. Oh brother. This explains the strange markings on my door. Apparently, these guys have absolutely nothing better to do than take prints of my house. (insert eye rolling emoticon here)

So, again, STILL no phone call, or note. You'd think if the cops were around, someone would let me know, before having to find out at work, but anyway. I'm not going to call Delbert, because I will see him this weekend anyway, and also, I'm convinced that he's probably a little insane.

This is why I don't drink the water here.